Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Forget about them bombs and light a fart

So I mentioned in my last post that I think a lot of author photos look really dorky and terrible. What I realized is that I need some examples - the statement itself isn't enough to convince people why I refuse to pollute my already-questionable work with candids of m'self. Let's get started!

Richard Laymon looks like he should be ranting about Kwanzaa on AM radio, and his work is misogynistic and gory enough to add some weight to that observation. Also, nice trigger discipline.

Jim Butcher writes decent urban fantasy based in Chicago, but his protagonist can't decide whether he's a bumbling oaf or a gritty detective/wizard. And then there's this picture, which looks like he's staring out the window, hoping his mom picked up a pizza on her way home.

George R.R. Martin is another fantasy author, and this is the most groomed he'll ever be. He's best known for A Song of Ice and Fire, a series he will never finish no matter how many spastic nerdlords freak out about it online. More importantly, he is not your bitch.

Finally, Alain de Botton poses in front of a prairie of empty chairs, like he was the last one to leave morning assembly or something. And like the friendless goon this picture makes him out to be, he cries when people say mean things about him.

Now that you've taken in their photos, consider that I'm about ten times less photogenic than anyone featured here. Yeah. The faceless Pynchon route will do my work a lot of good, I think.


  1. Ken Follett also has some good ones. His expression cracks me up for some reason in this one.

  2. Aw, come on. Show us the punim!

  3. @Steven - It really is the facial expressions that do it, especially for sci-fi/fantasy writers. They're all trying to look really intense but it never really works out that way.

    @Beth - I will do no such thing. But feel free to poke through my Facebook pictures and count how many times I'm a)unaware of the camera, b)picking my nose, or c)flipping off the photographer.